Showing posts with label remembering mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label remembering mom. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

a few days before Christmas

Several years back, I've had mixed feelings about Christmas. It was like a part of me wants to rejoice and celebrate in this season of giving but there was also a part of me that grieves and aches for the loss of my mom.

Yes, it was five years ago, a few days before Christmas, when we lost mom. It took me some time before I have overcome this huge feeling of loss. At the time of her death, it has only been less than two months since I got married.  I remembered I was juggling my time between work and married life that all I did was wish I could go home and see her. Who knew we would lose her that year? Definitely we were all clueless. If I had known, I thought I would have put off everything else and spend most of my time with her that year. But everything is all in the past now. I know she's happy where she is already. Every time I think of her, I would recall the happy times with her. I would also recall those times when she was starting to worry that I didn't have a lovelife. This was prior to meeting my husband. I would recall those times when she tried to play the matchmaker and gave my cellphone number to anyone she considered a potential match for me. I found this desperate cause to find me my prince charming more funny that it is embarrassing :-) And when I was younger, I also remembered her asking me if I had wished my mom had a job instead of being just a plain housewife so she could help dad financially in sending us to school and in providing for our needs. Indeed, life was a little hard at that time but I am proud of her for being there for us 24/7. I will always miss her and the things that used to be when she was here. I no longer feel sad, though, that she's gone ahead because it is God's will and I have already looked forward to spending a happy Christmas each year.  

Monday, May 31, 2010

mom's birthday (the weekend that was)

Even though we had already agreed that the sendoff party was also our celebration of mom's birthday, we (hubby, yours truly, Dipdip, and the nanny) went to Compostela to celebrate with grandmother.

We're the only ones who are available on that day since my brother already returned to Abu Dhabi while everyone else (including dad) has already returned home for the next day's work. And so, we just brought with us a cake, lola cooked two or three dishes, and my aunt prepared macaroni salad.

Well, I can't show a lot of pictures because my camera was showing symptoms of A.D.D. again  :-)

But look at how amused my Tita S (mom's sister) was with my daughter who seemed to be energetic at that time to show everybody her talent in dancing. Yes, lately, our one-year old princess dances everytime she hears music from the television commercials. Sometimes, she would sing, too (believe me). We didn't really celebrate that much because my Tita S has been diagnosed with the Big C and she's already starting to feel some pain. I just hope she feels better and that God will perform a miracle on her. Fortunately (if I'm allowed to say that), my Tita J from New Jersey is helping her with her medications.

Here, Dipdip faces her grand lola who also wished we lived nearby so she can always see us around...

When afternoon came, we didn't forget to go to the cemetery to bring flowers and light some candles for mom.

Well, I think mom's birthday looked like it was Diane Pauline's day because she became the center of attention and amused everyone (including her parents, ahem!).

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

just a hot... hot dog!

[The paragraphs you will read below are from my mommy Diana's journal. Even though she has already joined our Creator, I still feel very much connected to her in many ways, especially because I kept her journals with me. I've always loved her funny and natural way of telling her experiences even though I know that sometimes there are emotional or sad stories behind them, just like this one.. Read on if you are curious. :-)]

I was inside a room in a hospital, I wasn't supposed to enter... of course, I can read numbers, have virtually memorized the room I was always visiting and sometimes doing some attendance ... the patient was a dear person in my heart.

Naturally, to go back in that room was instinct. I forgot that my patient has insinuated the other day that he will transfer to a very expensive suite 'coz staying there for almost a month was flagellation if he won't transfer. The attending nurse had announced earlier there was now a vacancy on that long coveted expensive ward. This ward is just like a hotel suite with all the trimmings and provisions for the patient.

But habit is always a habit, and I entered a room where a man was naked below his abdomen, feet suspended in the air.

One thing you must know my eyes were blaring 'coz I was crying before I went for a visit due to some misunderstandings. Words easily came to my memory bank, registered in my heart and got some tickets from my tear glands. I was really sobbing 'though how much I tried to hide or amuse myself so I won't be an onion skin when it comes to sarcastic remarks.

It was abrupt, my reaction to this suspended bare feet and the black hairs above it.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I walked away after I got stunned. Some of the attendants there thought I was the wife!

When I went to the canteen to calm myself, I went near the person in-charge of cooking. He was in the middle of turning over a red hot dog to the other side.

"Hot dog, Ma'am!", he offered, and was stunned when I laughed and left to find another canteen.


Tuesday, March 9, 2010

finding humor even in difficult times

Here's another entry from mom's journal of happy moments. I don't know why she found this one funny. Well, back then, she always finds the humor in everything; even in difficult times. Read on below if you want to know the details.

Back To The Original 

My eldest daughter, a high school graduating student wanted a new pair of shoes. Our remaining budget could not afford to buy her one, except when she has to wait for the next payday.

She has caused me confusion when she, on tantrums, demanded immediate replacement when she kicked the worn-out shoe in front of the T.V. set where we were viewing at the time of her need.

I really noticed when she kicked them off the floor that there are holes in the soles.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

the prequel to the writer and the pen

When it comes to my mom, I will never run out of stories to tell even when she is now already with the Lord. We got along very well except for those tiny things like using her pens and losing them eventually that it would really send her irate.

I know mom wouldn't mind if I share what she had written on her journal because she was supposed to have this one published.

by Mommy Diana

I was folding my eldest daughter's clothings when I noticed a two-year old diary.

I have 2 feelings when I saw it: One, is to read it out of curiosity ; the other is to ignore it as something trivial or inane. Then a thought came as suddenly as I was about to set it aside, that of knowing how I rated with her as a mother, either she loves me or hates me. As a full-time wife and mother, I thought I could read something flattering that could encourage me to do better than before if not my best.

As I was scanning the pages which are of value to me, I finally ran my fingers on a page that hit me like a nail right on the head. It says: "Mom, why did you read this? This is my diary! You get angry at once when anyone gets your ball pen! Your sh*t ball pen! My classmates said their mom will lend theirs while you will never allow anyone to touch yours! I should borrow it without your permission. This morning you're very angry.. I took your sh*t ball pen! And... you're holding my diary!"

Naturally, I closed the diary but I have less feeling of guilt coz this was 1992 and it's 1994. She was pressuming without doubt I read it before. If this is bread, this is stale and it can't sting... her words.

So I told my daughter I've read her diary and I explained to her why God took away paradise from Adam and Eve after taking just one apple of disobedience. This made her laugh.

Everytime I would open her "journal of happy moments", I can't help but smile because there are memories written there. When it's something written about me, I just smile. I will always be a proud daughter of mommy. I thank her for teaching me all the wonderful values in life.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

the writer and the pen

I remember a time during my high school days when I kept losing my pen that I have to borrow my mom's. Actually, 'borrow' is not the term for it because I had to use it without her permission. What's worse about it is that I usually end up losing her precious pen. I can't remember how many times I have been scolded for running off with her pen and losing it at school and then eventually she would have to buy a new one for herself--the cycle never ended until I graduated high school. Writing had always been her passion and the pen was her only tool to write down her thoughts. In fact, we both agreed that a writer should never run out of pen and paper wherever he or she goes. So, when I finally got a job, I had the chance to buy personalized pens for her and the rest of the family. More than everyone else, she was so happy with the gift. If my mom's still alive today and now that it is no longer that expensive to own a computer and hook up with the Internet, she would have been blogging down her thoughts, too. However, I knew that she still won't let go of writing by hand.

Talking About The New Normal

What's the new normal these days? This got me thinking today, and I thought I should make a list. 1. Wearing Masks. Obviously, it'...