Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Monday, February 17, 2014

towards our seventh this year

My husband is not the type who wants to wear jewelries and accessories. Yes, he is that simple. If there's one jewelry that I can ask him to wear, that would have to be our wedding ring; although that, too, is something I would sometimes need to remind him about. Anyway, speaking of my husband, I realized we've been married for almost seven years already. The other day, I jokingly hinted at him that since he did not give me anything on Valentine's Day (he's not the showy or mushy type), the seven years of our marriage very well deserve a Scott Kay wedding band as our anniversary gift for each other this year. Thankfully (not really sure why I said 'thankfully'), he didn't really say No to this suggestion. I thought I should at least feel a pang of hope but he only said to wait another 18 years. LOL. By then, I'm sure I would already have a different wish. Seriously, I'm really not that materialistic; although I also wouldn't mind being spoiled sometimes. I'm already happy we stuck together - for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

married life - how's your listening skills?

Many times I wonder if there is really some truth to that thing called "7-year itch" in marriage. I heard it is that stage when couples will purportedly experience too much familiarity with each other that would somehow cause a serious stir in their relationship. Like most people, that is not something that I look forward to happening in the next 2 years. Of course, I would like to believe that there is no such thing as a "7-year itch".

Without sounding too presumptuous, I asked someone I know who's been married for more than 20 years if she has experienced that stage of her married life, although I am aware that not all marriages/relationships are the same. She kind of told me that it's normal for couples to have differences despite the love they have for each other. She told me that right now, though, the challenges in their married life started popping up again now that her husband appears to have lost the sharpness of his hearing. Many times, their arguments stem from the partner's inability to hear accurately and would often result to misunderstandings and unhealthy communication. I told her if the partner's hearing deficiency is the only thing that's upsetting their married life, they might want to seek the help of a hearing specialist. Her husband doesn't have to go through all that difficulty of hearing especially now that there are already affordable digital hearing aids in the marketplace. I also thought that helping her husband improve his hearing abilities would help him bring back the esteem that he unconsciously lost as he tries to hide this impairment from his friends by simply not seeing or talking to them. Good to know she took my advice well and is now looking to get a hearing device as a Christmas present for the husband but only after seeing a specialist first.

An old picture of us :-)

Anyway, while reflecting on our marriage, I thought we were doing good so far as a couple of five years. Overall, there were no major fights and no major arguments - just some pretty occasional minor differences that are not even worth dwelling upon. Indeed, it takes patience, understanding and respect to keep marriage or any relationship healthy. Hearing or listening to what a husband or wife is saying is important. In fact, there are also times where you need to be a little more sensitive about the things your partner may not be telling you. I do hope to keep our marriage healthy like it is and has been. I know we can do this if we continue to support one another and to keep our spiritual life healthy. With God in our midst, I know we can remain strong and not give up on each other.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

have i lost my sense of humor?

I have always looked at life as a roller coaster ride. Some days are happy, some days are sad. Today, you’re in trouble, the next day, your happiness is doubled. And whether we like it or not, we will journey through this life with both the bitter and the better things. It’s just a matter of dealing with the bitter and savoring the better—and hopefully, looking forward to the best.

Wow, am I getting serious or what? Have I lost my sense of humor? Being married is not just all fun and romance. It is also a lifetime commitment and obligation to your partner and to the marriage. Having or expecting a baby gives another excitement to the marriage but it also requires an even more serious role for the couple. Talk about trying to make all ends meet. Raising your child with the good and right values. Trying to shape ourselves to become the best parents we can be. This and probably much more.

I’m sure you already know by now that hubby will be out of job effective February 28th. When you really think about it, it’s quite depressing. As his officemate, I’ve seen how serious he is with his job. He’s not the type that just works for the sake of working and getting paid. Unfortunately, he will be one of those who would have to seek for other opportunities elsewhere. We thought it’s just so untimely. It’s not a good welcome gift for the baby. But we’re not about to lose hope. I’ve seen how optimistic he is with getting a new job. And when he is about to lose his optimism, we cling to God for help and guidance.

Long before this retrenchment thing, we’ve been discussing about not being employed in the same company so that when things such as this arise, we’re not about to risk losing both our jobs. We didn’t act upon it right away but it’s just so fortunate that the company is keeping me for now and God only knows for how long. I still feel lucky though. No new company would shelter you with a new job when you’re eight months’ pregnant, right?

Call it a blessing in disguise. Hopefully, he gets his hard-earned paycheck and a separation pay and will be shaking hands with his new employer soon. Take it from the wife who believes so much in her husband—and more importantly, in God’s kindness. We’ve seen how God works. We just got amazed. Every time we feel we’re about to lose hope, help just comes out of nowhere, when we least expect them.

What we’re experiencing now is no joke. But definitely, I still haven’t totally lost my sense of humor. He’s not losing his. Maybe it’s just taking a back seat, for the meantime. When you’re traveling through an unfamiliar road, it’s best to keep your head straight on the road and do some serious driving.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

a daughter's sentiment

during mom's death anniversary, dad, me and my siblings had a small talk. just a casual talk, until the subject shifted to dad trying to get to know somebody else via the internet and SMS. as a daughter who's been very close to mom when she was still alive, i just cannot welcome the thought of dad finding and re-marrying somebody else. call me selfish but that's just how it feels right now. you see, it's only been a year... i thought it's just too soon. even if he would wait another year or two, i still wouldn't like the idea of dad finding somebody else. i would have understood if dad had been a widower at an early age but he's already 60, why still long to find somebody new? i thought it would be great if he would just focus on helping my siblings to achieve a better future.

i've been open to dad about my objection to the possibility of him finding a new wife later on. but since i'm just a daughter, i could not stop him to do what he wishes. i just told him that i only have a mother and a mother-in-law. mom may no longer be here in this world but her presence will always be felt in my heart.

i am aware though that even when mom was still alive, she used to tell dad that he could still find somebody else if she leaves in this world ahead of him. i don't know why she kept saying this, must be some sort of a premonition. still, i couldn't help but express my objection to the thought of him remarrying.

semper fidelis--latin for "always faithful." mom and dad used to say this to one another, their motto as husband and wife. i've always admired their love for each other that i thought this extends beyond death. somehow, i felt a pang of disappointment. yes, couples vowed only "till death do us part" but i do believe that if one went through a long, happy and memorable marriage, you can't even think about finding someone else. that one marriage would already be enough.

maybe i'm just not ready yet at the thought of dad trying to get to know other women. i don't know. i just felt like he shouldn't. not yet. or maybe not ever, if possible. i just thought there are other things that deserve his time and attention. i do want him to be happy but can't he just be happy with the way things are?

i hope there's anyone out here who can relate to what i am feeling.

and i also hope my dad won't be able to read any of this.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

married life

One great thing about being married is having a partner to share your troubles with although some would say that you wouldn't also be into some kind of trouble have you not gotten married haha. I'm not saying that married life is all about troubles and problems of some sort. More than anything, marriage gives you that certain kind of happiness-- that is, if you really are meant to be married after all.

I believe it will just come to a person. And it wouldn't matter how short or how long the relationship had been going. It will just hit you. The time when you think that both of you are ready and wanted to be with each other for the rest of your lives.

In one of our conversations, my sister had asked me, "Don't you two even argue?" We argue less, but yes we do argue but we make it a point to stay out of the boiling point. Sometimes when it's close to getting a fight, one of us would opt to stay calm. I would also remember to read again mom's letter for both of us. And then I would be reminded about our happy times together. It would then be so hard to stay mad or angry at the man I chose to love and marry.

Stephen and I--we were not born rich, financially. We work to earn a living and to be able to pay for our existence. But together, as husband and wife, we are looking forward to improving our lives to create a better future for our family. And yes, as the Carpenters song goes "We've only just begun..." Our married life is way too young compared to those marriages that are already "tried-and-tested."

Hmmm, I just noticed I talk or write about my husband a lot. I usually do this everytime he's asleep. And he sleeps like a baby! I feel like joining him to bed already. So, like Cinderella, I better be in bed before the clock strikes twelve. I'm turning Sleeping Beauty now. Goodnight.

Monday, October 27, 2008

we are a work in progress

“We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.-- Phyllis Koss”

there's one SMS from my mother in-law that has kept me smiling today. it made me remember and reminisce the day stephen and i made our vows. she said she had remembered what they went through that day. they didn't realize that the driver sent them to the wrong church. to make matters worst, their car almost ran out of gas to be able to make it to the right church on time!

in our case (with mom and dad), we were also frantic because we were stuck in traffic. we had our travel time delayed because we were also waiting for the van of my entourage to arrive but it was nowhere in sight. we waited a little while longer until dad decided to have them ride taxicabs, instead. the traffic in country mall also made us worry if we would ever make it to church on time. mom was very calm and optimistic, though. she just prayed out loud to God that He would help us get to church on time.

luckily, and with God's grace, we made it to our wedding. when we arrived, there were several calls from the church commentator already for the wedding march to start. we were like five to ten minutes late. whew, we were really glad the priest didn't walk out on us.

my tensed face was replaced with relief and gladness when i caught sight of my groom who arrived three minutes earlier than we did.

next thing i knew i was already walking down the aisle with him during the march. and everyone was looking at me like i'm the prettiest bride that day. well, that made sense, because they got to witness only one wedding that day also. cool!

i was happy the wedding ceremony went well. we just realized after the ceremony though that we have placed each other's wedding ring in the middle finger. what a blooper!

then rain came pouring down before everyone had the chance to proceed to the reception area (the Fatima Social Hall) just a few meters from the church. some guests were able to make it to the reception without getting wet but some weren’t so lucky. we weren’t able to give everyone a ride in our bridal car. anyway, despite all these, we were just so glad to still see all happy faces during the reception.

speaking of reception, we were supposed to distribute giveaways but because of the rain, we’ve forgotten all about it. they just stayed there inside the trunk of the car. we just remembered all about it when the wedding was over. belated souvenirs, beat that!

we got everyone a nice treat, though- as we got Sonata singers to entertain our guests. my husband who happens to be Mr. Shy Type told me he didn’t want any wedding dance to happen but, to my surprise, the band got him to dance with me! yipeee..

before we knew it, we already said our thank-you’s and goodbyes to everybody. we’re up for honeymoon time! we were greeted at the hotel with a nice sparkling wine as a complimentary gift. definitely, the best part! no, not referring to the wine :)

just like our wedding day, there had been unexpected turns in our life but we’re glad to have faced them both together as a couple. it’s definitely been a year of life's bliss. and still counting. as my good friend and ku-marie sheila had said, to which stephen and i both agree, we have received the greatest wedding anniversary gift already. our future offspring. still developing inside my womb. wrapping out soon.

Friday, October 24, 2008

my mom's legacy

i am such a cry-baby. i cry over even the smallest of things--sad commercials, soap operas, sad movie endings, stomach cramps, etc. you can just imagine how it is going with me especially now that i am pregnant. hormones, yes, that's a good guess. or maybe i am just plainly old me!

you see, i was watching my favorite drama on tv "Iisa Pa Lamang" and i felt so bad that i could relate to the sad plight of claudine barretto's character where it got me teary-eyed. in-between commercials, i was also going through our wedding album and found my mom's letter safely kept in one of those picture holders. mommy wrote it for me and stephen the morning after our wedding. i cried again. her letter would always touch my heart even though i've re-read it several times. i realized that this was the last letter she had made for me (and hubby). it pains me still. i'm happy. i'm sad. it's always a roller coaster ride. i'm happy because i know where she is right now. in a safe place. but i'm sad, too. coz i thought she'd still be here for long. i'm looking forward to our wedding anniversary because mom was also a special part of it but it's also nearing december and that's the time we lost her last year. we never even got the chance to celebrate christmas with her. :(

going back to this letter, i would like to share this one on the internet because i'm proud of my mom. she has left me quite a legacy. this was simply written, but was definitely written from the heart.

Everdearest Joanne and Stephen,

Greetings!

You are now entering a new life of togetherness, full of hope and anticipation with all its benefits and obligations that go along with it. Trust and Pray to God alone for help that you both and your future children can triumph over trifles. There are many thorns in every roses, despite the fragrance and beauty they bring. God made it so- so you can learn to render sacrifices when there's trials. Why are there trials? Because our humility is tested - to accept our faults and follies and learn to forgive and be forgiven. Love is so wonderful... if you continue to love each other for better or for worse, in health and sickness. Always try to patch things up before sundown. Don't allow self-pity. Remember you love each other, so be strong against temptations and trials. If you get angry at anything be soft to say it so that it shall not build up to be a wall against harmony. Never allow to forget to eat when hunger urged you to eat. Even if you have misunderstanding, don't use the grace of God - your food on the table - to wait till you're cool. Patch up at once- so that your immune system will be working well with your body and soul. A sick body is a sick soul. Always look at things in positive direction. Always Love God before anything. In everything, in every thought, in every decision - ask GOD for direction. Marriage is so wonderful but 2 must work for it.

Love,
Mom

Talking About The New Normal

What's the new normal these days? This got me thinking today, and I thought I should make a list. 1. Wearing Masks. Obviously, it'...