Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label acceptance. Show all posts

Sunday, November 2, 2008

are you prepared to die?

are you prepared to die? this was asked by the priest during his homily today. this is not the first time that we've heard this question but almost always, this will get us to think and reflect on the way we have lived our lives. have we lived it in a way that is pleasing to God? if we know we would be facing death today, are we really prepared for it?

i've been pondering on this question. i wasn't prepared to accept that mom would be leaving us last year. even when her body was no longer responding to the medicines, even when the doctor told us that the surgery can no longer be done, i was still holding on to the possibility that she will be able to make it. i wasn't prepared for her death then because everything came so fast. eventually, i had to deal with the fact that she's returned to our Creator. more than she is my mom, and dad's wife, she is God's daughter, too.

we will never know how and when we are going to die. but we will all have our time. i guess that should be enough to remind us that everything in this life is temporary. that we should embrace death as a gift from God. death is not the end. it is the beginning. our chance to finally be in communion with God.

am i prepared to die? i've tried to direct this question to myself. it's a bit scary but i thought a lot about it. especially now that i'm pregnant. they say when you're pregnant, your one foot is placed forward, six feet below the ground. well, anything can happen to us between now and tomorrow, awake or asleep. so i'd say, "Lord, your will be done!"

happy all souls day. :)

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Bridget Jones: that's not my name! :)

Looking back, I never thought I would ever find someone I would marry. It was even hard to get myself a boyfriend for an inspiration. I guess I’ve never been that attractive to men. While most women have been blessed with good looks and good curves, I have been blessed with brains more than the physical aspect. I’m not saying I’m too ugly to be with anybody. It’s just that I had a lot more insecurities at that time than I can handle. I was young then. I hated it when people and "so-called" friends notice your flaws instead of focusing on the positive things about you. In short, I have always felt less beautiful but I have somehow managed to hide my insecurities by always being the funny and witty girl around. I was always everybody’s friend. I was always the unattached. By being so, I have excused myself from being somebody’s apple of the eye. But it was always my family who saw me as beautiful. My mom would always say I’m a late bloomer, the reason why I haven’t met my guy yet.

I then kept praying to God to liberate me out of my insecurities. That’s when I was able to accept and love myself. Then I started to care for myself even more. I decided I should love myself first before I could love someone else and being loved in return. It didn’t take long for me to feel beautiful after that.

To cut the story short, I had met and dated a few before I met the right one. The first time I saw him, I thought he was familiar. I even said to myself, “This guy would make a good husband.” How in the world did I know that? I barely knew him coz I was a newcomer in the company. At that time, I realized he was very attached with somebody. So instantly I have cut my illusions about him being God-sent for me.

Then I went on with my life being the unattached. Keeping myself busy with my job. And always praying to God. I realized that there are lots of things going on in your head when you’re twenty-something. You’ll start to think about your purpose in life. I kept praying to God for direction.

Two years after, we were already in the same situation, he became unattached. No matter how long you'd be in a relationship, if it isn't meant to be, it isn't meant to be. He courted me when he was already free and ready to be in a new relationship. We've already known each other for years and so it didn’t take long for our personalities to jive.

We got married a year after. And surprised a few colleagues. They didn’t think we would end up to be mister and missus. Or maybe not too soon. Well, surprise, surprise!

Now I’m 18 weeks pregnant. We will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary this month. It hasn’t been a long journey, but so far, we’ve surpassed all the trials that came along. We never stopped praying to God that He would bless our married life. I felt that He did! Who could ask for more?

Talking About The New Normal

What's the new normal these days? This got me thinking today, and I thought I should make a list. 1. Wearing Masks. Obviously, it'...